Remember that priest in the famous sit com Father Ted who had an incredibly dull voice? We met him during a tense scene in the Christmas special, where the priests are trapped in the women’s lingerie department of a supermarket.

“I have an awful dreary monotonous voice, God help me.”

If you haven’t seen it, search for “Father Ted boring voice” on YouTube.

During Speechcamp’s courses, I always ask the audience, “Raise your hand if you think you have a boring voice, like that priest in Father Ted.” Invariably, the majority of people put their hand up. It always amazes me how many people feel they have a monotonous voice. In truth, wilfully boring voices, like that poor priest in Father Ted, are rare, and even then, they can easily be fixed.

Yes, that’s right! Every so-called “boring” voice has a simple, straightforward root cause and cure. It’s important to understand that so-called monotone voices are merely symptoms of something deeper, something that can be sorted first with awareness, and then with an elementary technique I will share with you later.

To give you some background, if you read the section in our website about Speechcamp’s CORE speaking system, you will know that CORE stands for Connect and Respond with Emotional Empowerment. At Speechcamp we teach you that public speaking is not about perfection. It’s about connection. Specifically, we talk about connecting with 3 things:

1. Your material
2. Your audience
3. Yourself

When I talk of connection, of course I mean an emotional connection. In short, people who exhibit a so-called monotone voice are quite simply emotionally disconnected from themselves (and subsequently their material and audience). There could be many reasons for this; they don’t care about what they are talking about, they hate public speaking, they are shy… and so on.

What’s the solution? Whatever your reason for feeling a little disconnected, you have to start feeling something positive; something that gives you energy. In other words, you have to get in touch with the feeling of passion.

Most people believe that the reason they have a monotone voice is that there is something physically wrong with them. They may have trouble varying the pitch in their voice… they may have been told (or tell themselves) that they are bad singers… that their voice doesn’t have a range. But you know what?

You do not have to be Paravotti to have passion!

Unless you are in a coma, or otherwise heavily sedated, you can always feel passionate. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? The truth is, most people don’t give themselves permission to feel passionate, or feel anything at all. Maybe because they are self-conscious, fearful or shy. I will admit, it can be tough to feel positive when you are in the grip of fear, especially the fear of public speaking.

There are many wonderful ways to overcome your fear of public speaking, and in this blog we will share all of them with you, but since we are talking about monotonous voices let’s focus on a technique that can introduce some passion directly into the voice without too much effort. And you don’t even need to feel strongly about your material. It can even help you to overcome your fears, because it gives you something to focus on while you are speaking.

The technique is called Keyword Emphasis.

Take a look at the following phrase:

“Mary had a little lamb”

One sentence, right? One meaning, right? Wrong! Let’s try speaking the sentence while emphasising different words (in bold):

“Mary had a little lamb”
“Mary had a little lamb”
“Mary had a little lamb”
“Mary had a little lamb”

I want you to speak this sentence 4 times, emphasising the words in bold. Have you noticed how you can change the meaning of the sentence by emphasising just one word? For example; Mary had a little lamb, implying that she doesn’t have one anymore.

By the way, to emphasise a word, imagine you are speaking it to a young child because you want to teach her how to pronounce it properly. Really sound out the word. Savour it like you are tasting it. You can also emphasise groups of words, or phrases. If you do, make sure to sound out each word individually.

TOP TIP: If you are a non-native speaker of English, make every word you have trouble pronouncing a keyword. By sounding the word out with emphasis the audience will always understand what you are saying.

Right now, as an exercise, I want you to print out this article. Go down through the script and underline each word or phrase that you might emphasise. Then record your voice as you recite the article, emphasising each keyword and phrase.

Some people like to emphasise different words and phrases within the same script, according to what they want to give more meaning to. There is an art to this, and often there is no "right" or "wrong" keyword. This is called the “musicality” of speaking.

There are many advantages to speaking with keyword emphasis:

1. It slows your pace down, introducing pauses, which you are forced into after each keyword
2. You will tend to speak your keywords and phrases with more volume and projection
3. It sounds more passionate

You do not need to have any pitch range in your voice to use keyword emphasis, and you will always sound more energised. If you find the technique is not helping you to break through enough, exaggerate your keyword emphasis until it sounds really lively. Record your voice as you practice, listen back, and adjust accordingly.

I will finish by repeating this point: a speaker with a so-called monotone voice is simply emotionally disconnected from themselves. The ultimate cure to the monotone voice lies in giving yourself permission to feel more passionate. Keyword emphasis is a step in the right direction, but you’ve got to start feeling more. Even that priest in Father Ted could captivate an audience if he felt strong positive emotions as he spoke. People don’t respond to pitch, they respond to passion.

As Maya Angelou once said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

It’s extremely difficult to make people feel anything if you don’t feel anything. Please give your permission to speak with passion. There is no greater gift to yourself and the world.

Are you the Best Man? The Mother of the Bride? The Groom? The Bride herself? Whoever you are, you may have decided (or been “volunteered”) to deliver a speech for an upcoming special occasion. Now comes the easy bit… writing and delivering!

Let me start by sharing a very important tip…

I never like to judge a speech to be a failure because I genuinely think there is something positive to take from every presentation. People sometimes ask me, “What is the worst speech you’ve ever seen?” I’m always reluctant to answer that to be honest – it’s not my way - but this article begs me to share my answer with you. Several years ago, I witnessed a speech that started well, but went downhill fast because of one simple mistake…

Two dear friends of mine (who shall remain nameless) got married and invited seventy guests for the occasion. From the bride’s walk up the aisle to the final fireworks display that night, the entire event was a roaring success… except for one off-the-wall moment - the best man speech!

What sin did he commit? Did he spew out excessively offensive material? Did he humiliate the groom? Nope. Nothing so interesting. To his credit, he did manage to hold the audience for over 5 minutes before it became clear he was too much in love with the sound of his own voice to quit while he was ahead. His initial success had fuelled his ego into thinking he could go on forever. His speech ended up lasting over 25 minutes; that is, until someone finally snatched the microphone away and told him to sit down.

I’m sure you’ve heard of stage fright. There is a much rarer, opposing phenomenon called stage addiction. It can be a lovely thing, but it can also strike quickly, and it can be deadly if it infects the ego.

When it comes to public speaking I don’t like rules because rules were made to be broken. I much prefer guidelines. Public speaking is an art as much as a science. Sometimes you have to trust your instincts and see what happens. In other words, sometimes you have to break the so-called rules. Having said all that, here comes a rule! Please don’t break it! Ready?

Never outstay your welcome!

Got it?

In the case of wedding speeches, they should last no longer than 10 minutes! When I say 10 minutes, I mean that as an absolute limit. Not a target. If you decide to speak for longer than 10 minutes, you better make sure you are Billy Connelly or Barack Obama… and even then…

The sweet spot for a wedding speech is 4-5 minutes. Less is more! People did not come together to listen to one person. They came to celebrate two people.

Wedding speeches belong to a specific category of speaking called the “Honouring” speech. Honouring speeches are all about celebration. The emotions offered by you, the speaker, should include any (or all) of the following: gratitude, appreciation, joy, passion, hope, playfulness and love.

In terms of the content, you should include the following:

1. Acknowledgements – Compliment the bride, groom, bridesmaids, parents, family, friends, etc. in that order.
2. Personal Stories – Share stories about the bride and groom that showcase either playfulness or love (or both).
3. Toast – Ask everyone to raise their glasses to the happy couple

It’s worth co-ordinating your content with the other speakers to make sure you are not repeating any material. If you want to compliment the bride after another speaker who is also planning to compliment the bride, make sure you do it in a way that’s unique. For example, if a previous speaker mentioned how gorgeous the bride looks, you can mention how radiant her energy is. When complimenting anyone, try to make your compliments as specific and unique as you can. That way it comes across more personal and real.

Here’s a structure that works well for any wedding speech:

1. Acknowledgements
2. Funny Stories
3. Poignant Celebratory Compliments
4. The Toast

For the funny stories, it is possible (and in the case of the best man speech expected) to poke fun. The groom is the easy (and most acceptable) target. However, make sure you don’t go too far. Don’t humiliate the guy beyond redemption. To avoid any issues of offense, check your material out with the groom first. Encourage him to laugh at your jokes on the day. If the audience sees him laughing, they will tend to forgive more that you might imagine. Just keep away from negative experiences such as ex-spouses, divorces, health issues, etc. And steer clear of universally controversial or overly personal material; e.g. alcoholism, abortion, etc. This may seem obvious to you, the reader, but you would be surprised what people try to get away with at weddings.

It’s also a good idea to check your material with the parents of the bride and groom, especially if you are considering pushing the envelope. If you share a contentious story with the audience and they are uncertain if you have pushed it too far, they will tend to look towards the top table to see how they are reacting. If the parents are laughing away, it will sway the majority in the right direction.

It’s up to you to use sound judgement with your content. Remember, this is not your opportunity to be a stand-up comedian. Remember who you are there for!

Like all public speaking scenarios, stories are the most important ingredient of all. The best stories have characters we can resonate with, conflicts we want to see overcome, and of course climaxes that entertain, and teach us more about the quirks and traits of the characters. Stories offer messages and punchlines. Make sure your stories give unique, specific, humorous or poignant insights into those you are speaking about.

Stories offer a chance to “show” rather than “tell”. Don’t tell us how loyal the bride is. Share a story that proves it. Stories that you are a part of will come across as the most genuine, but if you don’t have anything appropriate in your repertoire, the couple’s families should be able to help you out. They have more stories about the bride and groom than anyone else.

Keep your stories as unique as you can. If the other speakers are talking about the bride in her adult years, consider using a story from her childhood. Look for stories that prove positive or quirky traits; e.g. loyalty, intelligence, perfectionism, adventurousness, etc.

Finally, and most importantly, enjoy your speech!!!

​How many people forget to enjoy themselves when they are speaking? It’s a privilege to present, especially at a wedding. Make the most of it, and once again… remember who you are there for.